u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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