I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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