last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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