Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she looked like the before picture.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
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I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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