At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize