if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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