I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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