walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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