i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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