Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
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He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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