yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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