I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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