i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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