does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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