Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Can Purell be used as lube?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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