Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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