Define "chronic" masturbator.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The air taste purple.
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