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How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
now i know why i became what i already was.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
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