It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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