2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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