White coat. Heels.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize