How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
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I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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