She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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