farters have to be the big spoon...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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