someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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