Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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