just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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