i think my tv is drunk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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