We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
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That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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