I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
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sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
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The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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