so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize