hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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