Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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