I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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