Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize