I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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