I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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