can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize