My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize