well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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