Soap is not a condiment
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I need to align my fucking chakras
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize