i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize