My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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