For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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