New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize