You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize