And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize