I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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