Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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