let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
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I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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